September 21, 1998
Living On The Outskirts of Boston University
• My ode to West Campus living. One of my three original submissions that got me "Cooch's Corner," I kept it posted on my door during my time in Rich Cell 304.
My Favorite Quote: "Unlike the Big Apple, Boston isn't in a constant state of filth, and it most certainly doesn't smell like urine."
September 25, 1998
The Green Chariot
• Agawam has no subway. As a frosh, the funny train was like a new toy. Today, I find every possible excuse to not ride it.
My Favorite Quote: "The T combines the excitement of big city mass transit, without the constant fear of getting knifed."
October 2, 1998
Working Your Way Through
• Would have been an excellent story, had my editors not chopped the last three paragraphs. It told how I helped this new professor move into his office and how he had all the same concerns I did as the new guy. It was here I started hating the paper.
My Favorite Quote: Talking about Work Study - "I don't think it would be possible to put together syllables despised more by college students, except maybe for non and alcoholic."
October 9, 1998
The Art of Pane-Ful Expression
• One of my favorite parts about West is the way people will spell things in their windows. As I later found out, the person keeping track of the Sox games was no guy. It was my pal Kristen.
My Favorite Quote: "Nothing screams, 'Hey RA! Guess who bought last Saturday night?' like a sign that reads '$12.19 for a 30-pack.'"
October 16, 1998
A Little Piece of Heaven on the Charles
• I always used to go down to the Esplanade, just because it was a) pretty and b) did not contain my roommate. This was my first foray into "serious journalism." Like most of my columns, it was a miserable failure.
My Favorite Quote: There really aren't any, but apparently, my editors spell the word 'pristine' as 'crystalline.'
October 23, 1998
Football Absence Leaves Void
• The serious kick continued with me whining about our lack of football during Homecoming. Another column which, if I wrote it now, would be millions of times better.
My Favorite Quote: "True, the team may not have been good in the end. True, it may have been getting more money than it deserved. But it was ours."
October 30, 1998
Keeping the Faith in Terrier Hockey
• Little did I know the hockey team in 1998-99 would get much worse than 0-2... much like my columns as the semester wore on.
My Favorite Quote: "The words started flying by me like a roller coaster ride to hell (or Newark)."
November 6, 1998
Decorative Dorms, Courtesy of Dining Halls
• As a proud owner of a sign from Bradley International Airport and who knows what else, I could be the biggest culprit of all.
My Favorite Quote: "Sit, be real nice, and when the waitress is gone, stuff that thing like a fat kid hoarding dinner rolls." AND "Next time you want to impress the ladies, eat a dozen of those rancid Magic Bars and try to keep your colon from falling out later that night."
November 13, 1998
From STO to NKL, Acronyms are TUF
• The title is not my fault. However, the coining of the word 'BUish' is. For both, I apologize heartily.
My Favorite Quote: On MIT's building numbering system - "Granted, we expect that kind of behavior from a place where not knowing pi to 37 decimal places makes you an idiot."
November 20, 1998
Searching for Freebies
• Another column that would be so much better if I rewrote it today. However, mocking rich people is something that's just timeless.
My Favorite Quote: "For no cost, I can learn to love cabbage juice and pomegranates."
December 4, 1998
A Season of Thanks
• When I wrote this, I though it would be the kind of thing Physical Plant workers posted on their bulletin boards, to show that students did care. I can only hope I succeeded.
My Favorite Quote: "It's my opinion that when new cars are equipped with flower vases, when Pepsi One and 'Dawson's Creek' become centers of social interaction, some may have lost the ability to be thankful for the little things."
December 11, 1998
What I've Learned
• Semester number one, boiled down to a Top 10 list. I really kind of like it even still, something I can't say for the other collegiate Corners.
My Favorite Quote: "No matter how hard they try, some people just can't remember to flush."
January 15, 1999
Beantown Demolition Derby
• My last stand as a columnist. Printed only as a perspective, this was one of my better ones. Note the subtle reference to the break-up with Karen, on the day of our six month anniversary.
My Favorite Quote: "If a guy gets cut off 10 feet underground, does his horn make a sound?"