who don't shower."
- Meg, somewhere in Ohio
It's A SoCal Story
Two letters "s". In Francisco. Glorious.
After getting baggage checked, the wait began. It's Logan Airport, so a 5:25 flight taking off at 7:10 really isn't all that upsetting -- oh no, they don't need any more runways. The flight, once it began, was generally very pleasant. A man from Berkeley extolled the virtues of the the Michener work The Novel to me, while I pored over USA Today and the AirMall catalog, while munching on an international bounty of Minnesota chicken pot pie, Atlanta's Coke and some sort of Belgian crackers, plus more. High living baby!
Tangent!: In the catalog, a vendor called "The Good Store" advertised the worst gift I've ever seen: A photo, autographed by Bill Buckner and Mookie Wilson, of The Moment. The mention of the names Buckner and Wilson in the same sentence gives every member of Red Sox Nation shivers to the bone, especially given the impending titleless-end of another Red Sox season. "The Good Store" can bite me ass.
Thanks to the whiny bitches around Logan, my one hour layover in Minneapolis was reduced to seven minutes. I had to hold my bladder, and my dreams of perusing cheap Twins souvenirs. I was left to walk across Sun Country's Minneapolis hub - the irony being Minneapolis gets sun about 37 minutes out of every year.
The flight to LAX featured a bigger plane, less food and a flight attendant whose flabby arms made the safety demonstration an exercise in suppressing nausea. I wondered many things: Why is the fine for violating a bathroom smoke detector $2,200 and not $2,000? Why does Sun Country sell headphones only usable on their planes, then brag you can keep them? Why, after landing at LAX, did I have to stay on the plane another hour waiting for a God-damned shuttle bus to the terminal two miles away? Why does the shuttle have a steering wheel at each end?
The steering wheel thing was for backing up, by the way.
So at around 11:30 Pacific time, nearly an hour after I was supposed to, I finally met up with my ride home and got my luggage. My West Coast extravaganza was about to begin.
AOL IM: JonCoochBU